There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
