I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
