I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
