My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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