Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
