Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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