What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
