last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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