Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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