Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize