You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
