Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
