part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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