In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
