I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize