I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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