That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
only you would photoshop your dick
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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