dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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