I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
