just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
