this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
