I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
