whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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