i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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