I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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