Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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