You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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