and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
This couple is walking their pig around campus
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
