I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
