and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize