No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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