That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
