I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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