I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize