that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
