and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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