I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
