She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
