ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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