Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize