my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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