no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
