well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
