just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
