I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
