I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
