..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
we should paint friendship bongs
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