OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
