So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
