he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
