u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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