oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
