i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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