he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize