its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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