I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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