We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
