I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Vodka?
Forever.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
