But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
