Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
