Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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