The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
