i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
