I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
