yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize