New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
