I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
either way he was missing a nipple.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i believe in u and ur pee
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
