i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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