she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
