Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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