It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
