the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
