The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
