we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
