Christians are straight up FREAKS
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
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