he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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