I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
