That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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