Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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