I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
