I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
